RESPECTFUL TENACITY
You are a force to be reckoned with…
While I mostly feel like an overcommitted mom, a new friend recently told me,
“You’re a force to be reckoned with.”
Ah, I don’t think so, I thought, as I laughed in response.
In the following days, her comment resurfaced in the back of my mind and began to grow. Then I got the call that a judge approved the purchase of plane tickets to move three of our foster children’s siblings across the state to live in three separate homes with people who weren’t relatives or even in their home village. Ordinarily, I would have thought it wasn’t my place or that I don’t have any grounds or the weight of position to have an opinion. A fierce protectiveness arose in my chest, giving me the courage to advocate with tenacity for our foster children’s family.
These siblings have clung to each other like a small floating iceberg. Bobbing under trauma inflicted on them and buried within them that we cannot see. Through the transiency of their lives, they have clung fiercely to each other. While they do not all live in our home, we do what we can to allow them to come together. The kids can email each other or have a zoom call when they get done with their school work. We gather to celebrate birthdays or to just play at the park, where one of the kids inevitably asks if they can have a sleepover. :)
I didn’t know how to advocate for the kids to stay together. I asked for help from the school social worker, who knew of resources and guidelines unknown to me. I sent and resent emails of documentation and support to officials higher up the chain of command until someone took the time to listen to our children’s needs.
The children’s attorney listened to the foster moms many concerns, and she wrote eight pages of documentation to present in court to keep the sibling group together! How do you say thank you to an attorney who represents over 100 foster children, who takes the time to reply to phone calls after 5 p.m., and texts after 10 p.m.? She has come to the house to listen to concerns from us as foster parents and our foster children. I don’t even pay her for her time!
I do not share stories to impress anyone, but so that others can understand the hidden struggles and victories in and around the lives of children affected by trauma. Maybe you don’t even know of anyone who is a foster parent or child, but I guarantee you know people who have experienced trauma or are still affected by trauma, even if they never tell you.
Whatever the challenges are today. You can do hard things. Maybe you don’t know where to start, but we can all do something.
When you don’t have the answer, ask for help until you find the hidden fighters in the sea of weary workers just doing their best each day. There are people filled with passion for your cause and willing to put in the extra effort to do what is right for children in need. I am SO blessed to have passionate, respectful listeners and fighters who understand that quick decisions passed in court change the trajectory of children’s lives forever.
Children don’t just deserve to be safe. They deserve to feel safe and loved.
If a busy mom can be heard over the throng of pressures and deadlines on caseworkers, attorneys, and judges’ minds, you can be heard too.
YOU are a force to be reckoned with!
Be brave & love well